WARNING - ADULT LANGUAGE BELOW MILD TO MODERATE ANGER SLIPPED THROUGH MY FINGERS AS I WROTE THIS .. AND I LEFT IT THERE.. COULDN'T HIDE THE SHOCK AND AMAZEMENT I FELT WHEN I PUT THE PIECES TOGETHER.. SO WHY SHOULD I KEEP IT FROM YOU?
By George I think I've got it!!
Have I stumbled upon the "Parent Alienation Manual?"
You know the one.. we all "feel" these animals use to program our innocent children...
Of course it appears there is a manual.. they ALL operate the same.. the children are ALL running around like little programed mini me's of the alternator's.. and well.. I may have accidentally through research till my eyes bled found the answer...
I don't know.. I wouldn't put money on it .. but it sure appears that way...Earlier I said "I think" .. as in my unprofessional opinion that I would bet my left kidney on!
I've spent the last five or more .. no wait.. eight years desperately trying to figure out how my estranged husband got my children who by the way.. I adored .. and they adored me back.. since the day they were born.. to hate me.. or at least to make it appear they hated me...
Man O man.. that task was bigger than life..(especially with my non professional training and sixth grade education) That task was bigger than you can imagine..
But within the last year .. things became clearer and clearer.. little by little more and more made sense...
Here's where I'm gonna kinda well almost leave ya hanging.. not really but ehhh I can't spell it all out for ya .. but I can say .. that there's more to the story below that helped me "get it" than I can safely say online...Anywho.. in "getting it" there were many things I had to learn and stick on a back burner.. I guess to be brewed at a later date when all the pieces were found to put into the pot? Yeah that sounds about right..
Some of the things that were really important were that ...
Predators .. read you like a book.. they pry information out of you.. to use against you.. they couldn't care less about small talk.. they want your soul.. so they'll sit through the BS small talk to see what your made of.. what they can consume from your naivety...
The see someone that is naive as ignorant.. something to be abused... they hit gold when they find a "naive one" .. if you don't believe me.. do your OWN research on the psychopath/Malignant Narcissist - co- dependent relationship!
And as we all know.. children are dependent on us adults for EVERYTHING .. including their lives.. and these blood sucking predators/including alienating parents KNOW THIS..
So for the sake of this post I'll pretend that you did your homework and now your back to finish reading this story because you now see for yourself that what I said is 10000% accurate!
I've also had to figure out .. what makes a predator tick.. what thought process do they use.. how can they destroy for shits and giggles.. then sleep well that night..
Ha... they have ice running through their veins that's how - NO EMPATHY - NONE!
So right about now .. I'll bet your thinking .. ok ok so what is it that "you got?"
Ohhh hell no.. this information and conclusion took me eight years to learn and I didn't earn a degree where I'm making any money off of it so hell no- you ain't getting it out of me that fast.. ooooo no brother!What I can tell you is this ..
The first word I typed into the computer to try to figure out what my children were going through .. was BRAINWASHED!
That word alone .. took me on the information trail .. heading straight to parent alienation..
Do not pass go.. do not collect $200..
Stop.. read.. start.. stop read.. start.. stop read.. start.. stop read.. start...
Learn.. learn and learn some more.. trust no one - listen to YOURSELF figure it out for yourself .. KNOW WHAT YOUR TALKING ABOUT .. even if it's only an opinion.. YOU can then say .. I figured this out by my OWN critical thinking.. I researched .. I studied .. I absorbed..
I UNDERSTAND .. all there is to understand for a layman about dysfunctional families..
Ironically the bazillionth gadtrillianth word (before I actually saw the entire picture unfold before my eyes)... was BRAINWASHED- this morning.. and I truly think I found the answer...
Let me share part of it with you-
Lots of people hear/read or see something and if it doesn't immediately fit into this perfect spot somewhere in the middle of their personal lives/problem(s) they see the new information as useless..and dismiss or ignore it...or kinda scan it without interest..
For some ungodly reason.. I don't have that habit.. who knows maybe to much time on my hands.. maybe to eager to learn.. maybe maybe maybe .. who cares.. I have it and it is what it is.... and so far it hasn't caused me any problems so I guess for now I'll keep it (smile)
THIS TIME THO..(this past few months) It actually worked to my advantage!
I picked up this book.. TOXIC PARENTS a few weeks ago.. as many of you (my regular readers) know I have a dear friend that is driving me up the friggin wall.. and has been for years now .. where it relates to their family...
It's like they are in total denial.. ha.. that's an interesting word.. let me look that up and see how close I came to deciding this person was in denial..
Holy batshit batman! What an education I got from that word.. whewwwwww
This dear friend is much more than "in denial" they are so totally enemeshed within their dysfunctional family unit .. it's scary!
I've said to this friend on MANY occasions that they "SHORT CIRCUIT" when they get stressed out talking to their mother.. it's like HELLO YOUR AN ADULT .. what's up with this??
Worse yet is the joke.. so and so put the "fun" in dysFUNctional.. didn't even apply to this family... for the most part they are professionals in well respected jobs.. (shaking my head)
They were sooooooooo unsuspecting of being dysfunctional in my untrained eye..
I probably woulda never guessed!
They were.... "The perfect family"
HA! Perfect? Not by a long shot.. but you had to get in deep to see it..
You had to spend a considerable amount of time with them while they were stressed to actually "get it" and it didn't help that I myself was dysfunctional .. or perhaps the warning signs would have jumped up at me MUCH SOONER..
But then again.. if I hadn't been dysfunctional.. that dear dysfunctional friend wouldn't be in my life..
You see.. I've learned that dysfunction.. surrounds itself with dysfunction.. on a long term basis .. I'm not saying that a healthy person couldn't get sucked into it.. O even pretending I thought that would be absurd!
However.. healthy people.. would see the red flags way faster than I had .. and would have been LONG GONE..
Had I been healthier back when I originally noticed the red flags.. I would have been gone as in ...
But .. someone up there has/had a bigger plan for me.. or so it appears..
There was no getting away from the dysfunction until I knew what the hell dysfunction really was.. and that wouldn't be before years of on again off again therapy..
Then finally hitting rock bottom (when my wonderful estranged husband and his political cronies legally kidnapped my children).. and so I've read after the fact .. that it's usually only after one "hits rock bottom" that they can manage to find their way out of the trash can what I've called... life in the dysfunction zone!
Ok so.. back to where I was about the book Toxic Parents. I would have suggested this friend buy and read the book them self but that ain't happening.. this friend HATES to read.. and HATES to read about their dysfunctional family even more than hating to read..
The book was 16 bucks and I love to read .. so how bad of an investment in my life and in my friendship could it have been .. to buy the book and highlight some scenes from both of our dysfunctional lives!
I was very impressed.. actually I learned MUCH MORE than I imagined I would have learned..
I know there's all kinds of dysfunction out there.. ya got your....
(1) Adult children from parents that.. abused them leaving broken bones.. as in my case..
(2) Adult children from parents that ... smothered them.. as in a few people I know cases..
(3) Adult children from parents that ... sexually molested them.. as in a few people that I know cases..
(4) Adult children from parents that ... were alcoholics .. yep again 'magine that.. I some of those too!
(5) Adult children from parents that ... emotionally dominated.. emotionally manipulated.. and emotionally controlled them with a smile... from my experience this type of enmeshment was the worst.. it's so unrecognizable to a child.. they feel they were raised in ...
"The Perfect family" or so it seems from the outside.. to an untrained and or an unaware eye.. as most people are that will come in contact with these special kind of abusers!
I'm sure I've missed a few .. but these will be enough for the intent of this post..
So here I am moseying along minding my own business reading this book .. as well as another book "Listening with a Third ear" and BAMMMM !
It smacks me upside the head.. by the way.. if you can get a hold of either of these books GRAB EM AND DON'T LET GO!
Here I'm thinking .. wow .. it really don't matter much what kind of dysfunction you grew up in.. the resulting personality issues aren't far from the others...
There's a list or three on what defense mechanisms one might pick up as a child to cope with the abuse .. but more or less I think it's fair to say .. these children as adults will have MANY ISSUES that must be worked out .. and it can take a very long time to begin to get it.. especially if you are in denial and refuse to accept that there's a problem that you need to get!
Here's where I want to put the emotional manipulators.. right here in this category..
Those children/adult children have a much harder time "seeing" and ultimately "accepting" that there was abuse.. in some cases as in with my friend (who knows it may be every case- like I said this is on experience and self teaching) they are so traumatized that they "get stuck" somewhere in development... and remain "children" in grown up bodies!
EXACTLY like their predators appear to be.. "stuck" somewhere around TWO ok maybe SIX!
Tell me your thinking .. Ohhh comeon .. there's no way an adult can be stuck somewhere around TWO and function in the world.. get a job .. raise a family .. and so on..
BINGO! They can't .. but they do .. hence the multi generational dysfunction.. over and over again.. the never ending spiral downhill fast!
Ok.. so what's so spectacular about that.. any interested mind can figure that out.. just read a lot!
Ahhhh but that wasn't what "I got" this morning..
What I got was more of an answer- to the question I didn't know I was looking for an answer to..
How's that for confusing?
Oh yeah before I tell ya what it was .. I have to fill you in on two more books I'm simultaneously reading along with the two above..
The Angry Heart (workbook) and Ooops.. the last one isn't a book.. it's a web link A typical roster ("inner family") of personality subselves
Ok so why would I want to read the Angry Heart (workbook)... (it's about Borderline personality disorders and addictions) Well .. I didn't want to read it at all.. hell I was reading enough .. dontcha think?
Well it kinda fell into my possession unintentionally ...
I was driving my sister somewhere and she left this book in my car.. the next day I was driving another friend somewhere and had to wait about an hour for her to finish her interview and I had forgotten to bring something to keep me buzy.. Vola.. my sisters workbook.. what the heckk .. it's something to do.
I pick up the book and start to read....
My sister was diagnosed with both borderline and bi polar - quite frankly after reading the book and the author freely admitting "one factor" as in one way to become borderline was blah blah blah.. then he labeled it Post Complex Stress Disorder.. hogwash! Separate them.. because labeling someone borderline when in fact they are simply suffering from learned helplessness aka victimization from being an abused child..will further harm them than help them.. most victims love a crutch.. and labeling them .. gives them what reason to not get better? Oh yeah.. as my sister likes to say.. Lou you don't understand I'm sick.. I can't help being co-dependent- and a drug addict! AGAIN HOGWASH.. wait no that one deserves a full BULSHIT!
IMUO - there can't be two ways to borderline when one clearly is CPTSD and the other they claim was reached without childhood abuse.. now that one is probably a horse of another color!
Like I said to my sister for years.. Jo- you suffer from Carmela syndrome or Camilleitis just like I do ... Carmela is our mother.. I told her these doctors OFTEN mistake one for the other and intertwine which one they misdiagnoses between all three..
Oooo let me stop before I get lost again..
Lets recap= there's tons of ways to dysfunction- there's tons of different kinds of dysfunction - there's many ways to defend yourself against being abused by the dysfunction- were all screwed!
Hahaha.. no no no I'm only HALF kidding...
I can't take all I read and follow each one as if it were the bible -- there are to many conflicting opinions.. to many ways to misdiagnose... to many to manys..
So I take what I can use and leave the rest on the back burner.. if need be it's available..
Well.. something I read last week in one of these web pages referred to three parts of your brain.. and what uses which to process different kinds of information.. That was simple enough lol
Ok in all seriousness.. here's a link on the part of the brain that I'm talking about.. not sure if this is the actual article I read tho... How the Human Brain Developed and How the Human Mind Works
Anywho.. the page I was reading spoke of Reptilian Brain responding better to PICTURES than to voice .. Hmmm ok I took that info and put it close to the top of that pot of info I have brewing on the back burner.. figuring I may need it soon enough..
Little did I know .. that this morning.. I was wondering if this dear friend of mine could possibly be brainwashed? They are acting like someone out of the twilight zone..
Yeah been down that road before.. WAIT.. Louise... say that again.. out loud this time?
YEAH BEEN DOWN THAT ROAD BEFORE.. yes you have ! Holy shit batman.. and here you have it.. back to the drawing board... B R A I N W A S H E D ... damn damn damn.. back where I started but this time.. I was looking for something other than why my kids treated me like they did which I found out through extensive research 8 years ago .. was PA/PAS.. but wait..
I think - haven't you already called this dear friend a ghost of Christmas future.. referring to my children when they reach adulthood...
HOLD ON HERE.. what's up with this? wait wait wait.. I had to slow down and pinch myself here..
Ok Louise.. go grab that pot on the back burner that you keep brewing with information.. that's been there .. forever and you'll keep .. indefinitely.. uncooked..
In the mean time.. I'll take a fresh look at B R A I N W A S H I N G ...
Son of a bitch!
I come across these two articles (in part they say)
Brainwashing is Done on the Basis of Feelings, not Logic..
The most effective method for brainwashing someone is to appeal to his feelings. Logic is rarely used in brainwashing. The brainwashed individual must be deprogrammed using logic to prove that the ideas in the their mind are in conflict. All of the beliefs of the brainwashed cannot be true. Some must be discarded. Little by little the brainwashing is reversed as the person learns and accepts the truth.
Emotional Manipulation/Coercion/Persuading aka - Brainwashing
Brainwashers Have a Obsessive Compulsive Controlling Disorder
Those who attempt to brainwash others are suffering from an obsessive compulsive controlling disorder. In his private life, his mate and children are miserable.
The person with an obsessive compulsive controlling disorder has an overly inflated opinion of himself, and they go to great lengths in an attempt to force their opinion upon others. Many will write to this website and to others trying go make changes which fit their agenda, but always without success. They are constantly frustrated in life because everyone simply ignores them. The only stable relationship they have is with someone suffering from a compulsive submissive disorder.
Emotional Manipulation/Coercion/Persuading aka - Brainwashing
Up on top of this article - wouldn't it be easier to read? Easier as in .. it may apply to you.. of course brainwashed wouldn't ever apply to any of us.. right? But those words soften the blow..
Ok go on.. I'm not done yet... I'm going to label this one below with my softer more acceptable words..
Emotional Manipulation/Coercion/Persuading aka - Brainwashing USE THE ...
First, let me give you an example of distracting the left brain. Politicians use these powerful techniques all the time; lawyers use many variations which, I've been told, they call "tightening the noose." Think- MOST lawyers/ politicians/ MANIPULATIVE PEOPLE!
Assume for a moment that you are watching a politician give a speech. First, he might generate what is called a "yes set." These are statements that will cause listeners to agree; they might even unknowingly nod their heads in agreement. Next come the truisms. These are usually facts that could be debated but, once the politician has his audience agreeing, the odds are in the politician's favor that the audience won't stop to think for themselves, thus continuing to agree. Last comes the suggestion. This is what the politician wants you to do and, since you have been agreeing all along, you could be persuaded to accept the suggestion. Now, if you'll listen closely to my political speech, you'll find that the first three are the "yes set," the next three are truisms and the last is the suggestion.
"Ladies and gentlemen: are you angry about high food prices? Are you tired of astronomical gas prices? Are you sick of out-of-control inflation? Well, you know the Other Party allowed 18 percent inflation last year; you know crime has increased 50 percent nationwide in the last 12 months, and you know your paycheck hardly covers your expenses any more. Well, the answer to resolving these problems is to elect me, John Jones, to the U.S. Senate."
S O N OF A BITCH!!!
Will you look at that? These parent alienators appear to all read from the same book.. don't they? They all seem to use the same methods.. dont they? They all seem to get the same results from our children .. don't they? It's been questioned if all those abusing power ahemm most politicians... are psychopaths or malignant narcissists.. hmmm
I' L L B E A M O N K E Y S B A N A N A ! ! ! !
OOooo but wait it gets better...
I had the displeasure of reading the pathetic pull on my dear friends heart strings when they finally told thier mother they were sick of her abuse (after long term therapy- there was a breakthrough) and she emailed them a plea.. she needed help understanding.. blah blah blah.. every word of it was a manipulated play to pull at his enemeshed family strings.. and to discredit anyone that didn't agree with her abuse (me)
Sooo wait a sec here.. thats how they do it?
SON OF A BITCH!
First is the enemeshment - DAMN IT I remember my estranged husband pulling my daughters heart strings telling her I was cheating on him and blah blah more and more BS..
I THOUGHT my daughter was old enough (12) to KNOW better.. but Oooo no was I wrong.. he got her! Of course his political connections keeping me away [il]legally from my kids for eighteen months was an enormous help for his programing.. but that manipulative bastard!
PLAY THE VICTIM! Thats what they do best!
Oooo man I want to chew nails right now just re-typing this..
So I go back to the letter my dear friend recieved from his disgruntled mother .. and low and behold as if it were a training manual...
Paragraph one - plead for help .. play the confused victim... make the real victim FEEL all kinds of confusing FEELINGS! "I need your help" was her opening statement...
Then it went on ... "
"I am so aware that you are carrying a tremendous emotional burden. You appear troubled. I am so saddened for you. Nothing is more important to a parent than the well being of their child. No matter how old you are, the difference in our ages remains the same and our relationship, parent to child, does also. It is extremely precious."
"As I stated in my last message to you, you have support. You have my support and love and that of your other family members. I am there for you and will always be, if you allow it. I just need to know why you are ignoring my calls. "
Paragraph two - Bad mouth the target! The one the manipulator wants out of the picture..
" That being said (insert name), I must speak about how your situation appears. You have a lot on your shoulders. Louise is a person with a lot of issues, some very serious. Her reaction to her situation has been and is as the persecuted. Her estranged husband, the court system, her mother, her sister, your mother, your brother, your father, etc. The bottled and explosions of anger have been on-going with her and I'm sorry to say, will continue. Very little has changed. She lashes out whenever she sees fit no matter how distorted her perception. As her friend, you feel a need to be protective, which is an admirable trait, however, because of her situation, has the potential of working to her detriment as well as yours."
Paragraph three... SUGGEST how dangerous the target can be if ... fill in the blanks.. with something horrifying..
"You fail to see that which is obvious. You don't want to admit that there are very, very serious problems. I hope that one of the heated arguments doesn't lead to absolute disaster. There is a strong potential."
Paragraph four.. tell the victim how concerned you are for their safety.. and how much you know they must be going through with this potential animal.. (the target)
" I am not the problem. The problem is right there with you. For a person to impact your life to the extent that you turn against your most intimate family members, mother, father, brother speaks volumes. Just for a minute think about how Louise relates to her mother, sister, etc. Think of the anger that is mercurial at best and potentially lethal at worse."
Paragraph five - play on their sympathy again - FEELINGS! Suggest they are not seeing things clearly.. and you have to help them see the light!
"Believe it or not, I feel for you, (insert name). You have something on your hands. I hope that you find someone you can trust, who is knowledgeable, to talk to. Someone who can help you see the light. "
Paragraph six - pretend you have nothing to hide.. suggest they seek therapy.. leave the victim so confused.. if this person thinks I should go to therapy then what they are saying MUST BE TRUE!
"(insert name) when we are in a friendship that may have some dysfunctional areas, it is difficult to see everything clearly. I hope that sooner than later, you seek advice to assist you with your life and its quality. Just as Louise sees a therapist, it may not be a bad idea for you to consider seeing one for yourself."
Paragraph seven .. SUGGEST - a solution.. (subliminally - set them out to destroy)
" I don't know where we will go from here. I do feel saturated of it all. I am on overload. My heart is heavy. This is the most difficult problem that I have encountered in a very long time.
Hopefully, there will be resolution.
Side note- many of my readers know me in person.. and know this letter above is full of hogwash.. no no no I'm not going to put a pink bow around it.. it's pure BULLSHIT!
Yeah I told this woman where to go.. politely well ok sorta politely.. maybe I got a lil loud?
Nah I got loud! But she earned it and then some.. she's an evil manipulator.. and she pushes all the right buttons.. yeah yeah yeah I know.. I have to get a grip on how I allow these animals to push my buttons.. I'm working on it.. and quite sucessfully I must say.. I've learned how to stab em with the same smile they stab me with!
What she DOESN'T know is that I beat her to the punch.. and her adult child has been in therapy for a year..
That's why they chose NOT TO TALK to this manipulative parent.. they SAW how evil she is with their own eyes and the help of long term therapy..
Yet after this letter.. the adult dear friend .. began to take steps backwards.. it was so clear that contact with this manipulative alienator was disastorous.. hence the implications that our alienated children have NO CONTACT with the alienator..
Anywho.. back to how they program..
Repeat as often as possible .. and vola.. B R A I N W A S H E D into believing what the Psychopath/Malignant Narcissist wants you to believe!
DESTROYED RELATIONSHIP WITH ONCE LOVED PARENT/PARTNER/FRIEND..
SON OF A BITCH.. OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN !!!!
But wait.. was that all I got?
Hmm all.. well that's enough aint it?
But NO.. that wasn't all I got.. here's the even better part -
HOW TO FIX IT - IMUO
L O G I C -- L O G I C --- L O G I C -- L O G I C -- L O G I C -- L O G I C -- L O G I C !
Is that all? Maybe not .. LOGIC IN PICTURE FORM? BINGO! I think I got it!
Fastest way to "get it" or UNGET IT as it would apply to brainwashed victims.. accessing their Reptilian Brain - Human Nervous System and begining to deprogram them at the same time! Then of course you would need professionals that also GOT IT!! (the whole alienated child thing)!
Thank God I have both on this blog (my TRUTHFUL unarguable DOCUMENTS IN PICTURE FORM - as well as PICTURES OF THEM WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER) ready right here when my children want to know the truth!
DAYUM.. I'm feeling pretty shmart right about now.. lol... sixth grade education and all!
All kidding aside.. this sounds to well thought out to not work...
And of course .. lets not forget always leaving breadcrumbs back to you on their trail of life.. using the six senses.. any chance you can!
I am adding my children's names to this post.. so that if they or anyone they know .. is searching for them.. they will get this wake up call.. and see what's been done to them!
Christopher John Uccio aka Chris Uccio <>
Dawn Marie Uccio aka Dawn Uccio
Louis Micheal Anthony Uccio aka Louie Uccio aka Lou Uccio
Nicholas James Uccio aka Nick Uccio aka Nicky Uccio
And of course I want to add.. my estranged husband Mr. Louis M. Argenziano's apparently favorite political connections names so that if anyone wants to know what they may possibly be up against if in contact with them.. they also get an eyefull..
Most from Richmond County New York's Family and Supreme Courts ...
Judge Barbara Panepinto
CYO Exucitve Director Joseph Panepinto
Aggie Panepinto (except this one- she's the LINK that the ex lives with)
Judge Terrence McElrath
Bonnie Cohen Gallett (she's in the Bronx now I believe- but she did the inital legal kidnapping- it appears that the rest of em .. just played along.. or were somehow involved indirectly!
Judge Debra Silber
Hearing officer Cheryl Weir Reeves
Cahterine Bridge Esq.
Thomas Connigatti Esq.
Judge Philip Minardo <>
Sherrill Spatz Special Inspector General - (see above- for her apparent role)
Normally I have no respect for any of these apparent players in the [il]legal kidnapping of my children .. so I'd use lower case letters and leave off thier titles.. but I want to make sure .. they are found by strangers who have no clue .. what they may be getting themselves into if they come accross these people!
REFRESH - Go to Home-Page
Go ahead wench aka Mr. Louis M. Argenzinao and or his side kick - the one that looks like a poodle- email this to all of your cronies.. to bad the gag order was only as long as Judge Silber kept the case in her court room.. but she freaked and dropped it like bag of explosive poison .. didn't she? .. nice try at gagging me- wasn't that a violation of my first amendment right? SURE WAS!
I love my site meter! Wutz that you ask Mr. Louis M. Argenziano? Ohh come now .. stop scratching the top of your head all that fake hair may fall out. Don't worry what site meter is.. just keep on stalking me and sending your cronies my blog posts and I'll worry about what site meter is...
Please have a wonderful day! I get the feeling they won't be so wonderful forever!