Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Black and White Thinking PA/PAS

Recently it's become clear to me that the three stages of truth are at different stages for those on one side or the other of the Parent Alienation/ Parent Alienation Syndrome debate.

In looking for the exact wording of the three stages of truth I came across this blog-

Joe's Law..

Now while Joe's law talks about 9/11 he has compiled a few thoughts that clearly apply here to the Parent Alienation/ Parent Alienation debate.

(1) Thomas Jefferson once declared: "Truth needs no defense, only lies need to be protected".

(2) The famous German philosopher Schopenhauer once explained:

"Truth goes through three stages; first it's violently opposed, then it's highly ridiculed, and finally it's accepted as an obvious fact".

(3) Adolph Hitler once wrote:

"Little people tell only little lies. They don't dare tell big lies because they justifiably think that nobody would believe them. However, when big people, or Governments, tell big lies, little people believe them because they think that nobody would say something so outlandish unless it was an absolute truth".

It is here after the above quotes in Joe's Law that he goes into issues surrounding 9/11.

It is here I will go into issues surrounding PA/PAS.

Of course those women's groups can not continue to debate the power of an abuser.. using the courts against the target. In fact they agree!

Here's where things get fuzzy though..

They admit that abusers will align the children with the abuser.. they admit the abuser will feel entitled (a sure sign of a Narcissist/Psychopath) to turn the children against "the target"
(or as some would like to say- "the abused")

The problem then appears that the Government funded groups such as N.O.W via Title IV Federal funding.. who chant that ONLY MEN ARE EVIL.. and ONLY WOMEN ARE ABUSED.. won't accept reality.

A reality that I must say .. they have accepted! That abusers WILL AND DO..


But wait.. they (N.O.W. does agree with that fact... so wheres the problem then?

Forgive me here for a second while I scratch my head in confusion!

Ok Louise put the facts here on the table..

(1) Abusive personalities more often than not.. if not always.. suffer from one of the cluster B personality disorders see here for more on those -

Cluster B Disorders: The Drama Club

Cluster B Personality Disorders: Antisocial, Borderline, Histrionic and Narcissistic PD

(2) Cluster B personality disorders are not gender specific...

(3) abusers use the children to destroy the target... while actually destroying the child's mental health..

(2) abusers use the courts to destroy the target...again while actually destroying the child's mental health..

Those women's groups chant that "women" are the only ones abused while those evil men (tongue in cheek) are always the abusers... Of course men also abuse but not ALL men.. are abusers and not ALL women are abused...

Ok so where's the problem?

Oh yeah ... it's the name? Right those women's groups are appalled by the title "PA/PAS because when Richard Gardner initially gave a name to the abuse our children were suffering due to abuse .. he WRONGLY stated that it was gender specific... or at least he implied that it was more women doing it than men..

Well.. ok so lets say those were the statistics back then.. or perhaps his research was flawed.. who knows who cares..

Perhaps it was to many women crying abuse when in fact there was no abuse at all.. but just another way to screw your partner in a divorce? To get the upper hand.. after all I've heard many rumors about how those women's groups coach women to cry abuse or rape where their children are concerned.

So lets pretend that the abused parent and child need help.. can they get it if they don't fit neatly into the domestic violence mold? NO they can NOT!

I speak from personal experience back in 2003.. when my abuser kidnapped my children using child protective services and his political connections to the Panepintos (director of CYO Joseph Panepinto and his wife Judge Barbara Panepinto... and I didn't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of.. I called NOW pleading with them to help me.. I explained that my abuser who admitted in court documented transcripts to putting me through a dining room table.. was now continuing his abuse monetarily and by using the children as pawns and turning them against me.. I told them I had an OUT OF STATE valid Order or Protection in which there were three court hearings .. in which my abuser had a full opportunity to defend himself.

It was as soon as I mentioned the alienation which I didn't even have a name for at the time.. that they told me they couldn't help me.

Years later I figured out the problem was that I knew PA/PAS was real.. it was happening to me.. yet they had another agenda! As you can find anywhere online if you are looking for help with PA/PAS they like to call it junk science...

Ok so they admit that alienation happens..

They admit that parents use the system in a divorce to gain the upper hand..

No no no let me correct that.. they admit that MEN use the system against women to gain the upper hand.. whewwwwww I wouldn't want to post something as human as them admitting that BOTH parties have been known to abuse the system..

So where the hell is all this debating coming from?

Well.. DUH!

Haven't you been listening to a word I wrote?

BLACK and WHITE THINKING.. that's where!

VICTIM THINKING... and if you ask me that's how they've been so successful in getting other survivors to sing their phrases of junk science.. anyone that finds them self in a domestic violence situation and doesn't leave immediately .. is staying because of victim thinking.. been there done that myself.. so yes I am holding the "victim" accountable as well as the abuser.. and you should to.. they BOTH played a role in the abuse.. anyone who disagrees still has a lot to learn.. or I promise you they will find themselves in one abusive relationship after the next.. until they accept this simple fact... they had a role in it!

Do your own homework.. on the black and white thinking of the dysfunctional!

Distorting reality
Black-and-white thinking. People often see things in extremes, with no middle ground — good or bad, perfect versus useless, success or failure, ...

Codependent Stinking Thinking + The Rules for Being Human + Risking

Dealing with 'Black and White' Thinking - Strong Bonds - Bui...
"Black and White" thinking, or stubborn, rigid and extreme thinking, ... "Black and white thinking" is a common manifestation of immature thought; ...

Codependent Stinking Thinking + The Rules for Being Human + ...
"One of the core characteristics of this disease of Codependence is intellectual polarization - black and white thinking. Rigid extremes - good or bad, ...

Then think about what others think of YOU when you chant the phrase PAS is junk science especially since it passed the Fry.. Daubert the Monahan tests..

Don't know what they are? Do your homework before you blindly follow someone else's lead..

When you blindly believe you are setting yourself up to be a victim! But who knows you may be one of those people that LIKE being the "victim" perhaps your on your way to professional "victim" (Shrug) Good luck..

Here is more of the article -

Codependent Stinking Thinking + The Rules for Being Human + Risking

The Rules for Being Human

1. You will receive a body.
You may like or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period this time around.

2. You will learn lessons.
You are enrolled in a full time informal school called life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant and stupid.

3. There are no mistakes, only lessons.
Growth is a process of trial and error experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately "works."

4. A lesson is repeated until learned.
A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.

5. Learning lessons does not end.
There is not part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.

6. "There" is no better than "here".
When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will, again, look better than "here".

7. Others are merely mirrors for you.
You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself.

8. What you make of your life is up to you.
You have all the tools and resources you need, what you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

9. Your answers lie inside you.
The answers to life's questions lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.

10. You will forget all this!

By Cherie Carter-Scott, Ph.D. A handout she created 25 years ago that circulated widely and anonymously until recently when she published If Life is a Game These are the Rules

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