REFRESH - Go to Home-Page
I've been debating ok maybe even arguing with someone [person 1] lately about an a member of their family [person 2] who I feel --- no scratch that (erase) -- who I know is an abuser by proxy.
The party in question [person 2] uses -- Manipulation-- Lies-- Head games -- Drama -- forgetfulness-- laziness-- Guilt trips -- Blame -- and neediness as their Methods of Operation (M.O.)
I've been trying to get [person 1] to see [person 2's] REAL motives.
Now, I'm not an idiot-- (remember, psychology is my passion) I know [person 1] needs to figure this out for themself.
I know that [person 1] is an adult and if they chose to be manipulated and lied to that's on them NOT me!
I know that by my trying to save [person 1] that makes me a rescuer/victim myself.
Note that I have NO desire to rescue or save anyone except my children -- and that would be when I get them back into my life -- letting them know they were unfortunate enough to come from a very dysfunctional family and that it would be an excellent idea to get immediate therapy to work through the residual of being raised by a malignant alienating narcissist and a once naive co-dependant.
The person I've been debating with seems to think the abuser [a relative of theirs] isn't really an abuser and "that's just the way (insert name) is." "They mean no harm by it ---blah blah blah"
However, it is DIRECTLY effecting me, and my only two choices are (1) walk away from the entire situation and let [person 1] deal with the hell of their own making/ or better put in this situation -- deal with the hell of their own denial or (2) stick it out-- [person 1] is in regular contact with a therapist and has made major accomplishments with acceptance that [person 3- Ha hope you were paying attention I threw in someone new] is the lead abuser and has covertly abused [person 1- and person 2] their entire lives-- via dominating-- controlling-- over-bearing covert narcissist abuse.
I was told by both [person 1 (in an outright screaming match) and [person 2--in debates/arguments] that I'm making a bigger deal of this than it really is..
Which really translates into "why aren't you letting me [person 2] be abusive (it's no big deal insert abusive tactic__________) everyone lets me get away with it-- it's who I am"
I have NO doubt that the person in question [person 2] is nothing short of a inverted narcissist-- who is being manipulated by the REAL malignant narcissist [person 3] in that family because the REAL malignant narcissist [person 3] has been found out by [person 1 --thru therapy] and cut off at the knees by [person 1].
Now another note -- my therapist said that the way things are progressing with [person 1] they are on the way to SEEING the TRUTH about [person 2] and right now the fight they are dealing with in [person 3] is a larger fight than they've ever dealt with--then my therapist also noted that [person 1] is worth working with because once they see the light -- the only bad quality they had will be gone... so let [person 2] get away with their abuse for now-- Umm I dunno -- that's just NOT sitting well with me.
So -- I said all that to say-- I spent the day on http://www.narcissists-suck.blogspot.com/ trying to find a way to open [person 1's] eyes faster because this problem like I said is DIRECTLY effecting me-- and I found the blog(s) below among 20 others that I saved.. and thought that the two links below could help others as well.
Narcissists Suck: The Mask of Evil
Excuse Me While I Mix Metaphorial Images