It is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself* you will you will not be imperiled in a hundred battles; if you do not know your enemies but do know yourself, you will win one and lose one; if you do not know your enemies nor yourself, you will be imperiled in every single battle.
~ Sun Tzu
Some of you maybe wondering what the hell is this "know yourself" bullshit about anyway?
For as long as you look through a magnifying glass and not a mirror.. You have given your power to the enemy!
You will only know yourself once you can define every one of your weaknesses and strengths after careful reflection.. including where and how they originated...
When you know why you do what it is that you do, or don't do.. and can define where that originated..and why.. and whether or not it works for you or against you in the long run.
You must be able to list your weaknesses and strengths faster than your enemy can..because if they know you better than you know yourself.. they will have figured out how to use "you" against yourself to win!
You will only know "you" when you are concious of, and have a well thought out, good reason for why you are about to do something..or did something... and know the consequenes of those actions and are ok with dealing with them.
Once you know your triggers better than your enemy does... and you know why they are triggers or weak points within yourself and are able to control them.
Once you fully understand that a trigger (something that causes an angry outburst) is not a reaction to the here and now- but a reaction to something that hurt you long ago, that you can now identify.
Once you can look your enemy in the eye and say "you were able to push my buttons because" ... then really know what weakness you have that allowed you to have buttons to begin with.
Once we can label and face our weaknesses- they no longer hold power over us- they then become strengths!
Ehh the list goes on and on.. but the above is a great starting point!