This article is from Canada, but it appears they "get it" Domestic Violence is NOT GENDER SPECIFIC!
Domestic Violence is PERSONALITY SPECIFIC!
I bet if the women who are truly abused were to be evaluated, they would be… for fear of insulting anyone I'll use the words "people pleasers" laid back more relaxed, less dominating than their abusive counter part. Willing to go with the flow kind of people, will not be diagnosed with Narcissistic/sociopath or borderline personalities, however if their abusers were to be tested I almost guarantee they would be found to exhibit either traits of these personality disorders or be diagnosed as full blown DSM-certified!
Now on the other hand, if we were to take a look at those women who FALSELY accuse their husbands of Domestic Violence, they would be the ones diagnosed somewhere in the cluster B category above, while their "victim" husbands would be the "people pleasers" laid back whatever kind of person.
Now so people don't get their panties in a bunch, let me clear one thing up.
DOMESIC VIOLENCE/CHILD ABUSE ARE HUGE PROBLEMS THAT NEED TO BE STOPPED!
But so is false accusations of both. I feel that until those with personality disorders "control freaks" and the like STOP calling the shots as to to is and who isn't abused were all screwed!
I am witness to the fact that truly abused women are being shuned by these so called "women's groups" because my morals were to high, I wasn't willing to hang my husbands by the cojones!
And as expected he pulled the trump card on me, false claims of child abuse.
Way to go "special interest groups" allow any false accusation to destroy anyone and you'll see more and more truly abused "victims" destroyed by the very system in place that can help them.
The only women being helped by the D.V. Funding in america are those willing to hang their husbands by the cojones, or those that make flase claims of D.V. to gain the upper hand in divorce!
Women like myself who weren't willing to destroy their husband have been left out in the cold.
Wake up america you are being lied to domestic violence is NOT gender specific and those that claim it is are LYING for personal gain.
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE CHILD ABUSE AND PARENTAL POWER AND CONTROL ISSUES NOT GENDER ISSUES- ALL OF WHICH NEED TO BE DEALT WITH IMMEDIATELY!
Abuse victims also male
By Andrew Hanon
He was large and powerfully built, with the imposing presence of a professional linebacker.
But the bruises and black eyes were not the result of gridiron battles. His injuries were inflicted by his physically abusive wife.
"To look at him, you'd be totally shocked," recalls Terry Conroy, a city social worker who met him when he signed up for Conroy's support group for men in abusive relationships. "He certainly didn't fit what people would consider the stereotype."
Conroy describes the man as "calm, shy and non-verbal," a gentle giant whose injuries just made him look all the more rugged.
He seemed to have it all, but in reality was hiding a toxic secret that had left him desolate and isolated to the point of being suicidal.
At its core, spousal abuse - whether men are the victims or the abusers - isn't about physical dominance. Conroy describes it as being a means of getting emotional and psychological "power" over a partner or family.
"You can be the victim regardless of your size, regardless of your income," he says.
Spousal abuse of men remains a hidden epidemic, largely because the issue of domestic abuse has been encased in an ideology that says men are always perpetrators.
Most victims are so ashamed of their situations (men who can't stand up for themselves just aren't men) that they won't seek help.
"There's just not a lot of understanding out there," Conroy says. "They feel ashamed, embarrassed, inadequate, with no sense of self-worth.
But a 1993 study of post-secondary students revealed that more than 80% of men surveyed said they had been physically or emotionally abused by their female partners.
Conroy cites other studies that estimate anywhere from 7% to 15% of all men have been the victims in abusive relationships. While it's clearly a much lower rate than women in the same situations, "it's still a significant number."
In fact, it's so commonplace that Conroy gets dozens of inquiries each year from men interested in joining his support group, Chaos to Peace, which holds eight-week sessions twice a year.
The group, which has been going since 2000, has all kinds of participants, ranging in age from their twenties to their sixties.
"It covers all demographics," he says. "I have guys show up in their business suits and ties; others in their steel-toed work boots."
It crosses all cultural lines, too, with up to a third of participants from various immigrant communities, even those whose cultures consider men the heads of households and place a lot of shame on male victims.
Conroy admits that men are far more likely to be emotionally and psychologically abused than they are to be battered, but argues it's still abuse.
When he first began organizing support groups, he says, he was met with a lot of derision.
"A lot of people thought it was a waste of city resources," he says. "There were plenty of critics who argued that those resources would be better spent on programming for women and children."
While the issue of abused men is still very politically charged, he says there's growing acceptance .
He makes it clear to every man who inquires that his group is not for anti-feminist "woman-bashing" sessions.
"It's about helping men rebuild their lives as individuals," he says.
The Chaos to Peace group, run by Edmonton Community Services, begins Thursday and runs for eight weeks. It's free. For more information check out www.edmonton.ca/mensgroups or call 496-4777
Original Article - edmontonsun.com - Opinion/Comment - Abuse victims also male
Oh wait! Before I get accused of practicing medicine or law without a licence, let me say this..
If you feel I have a point here I suggest you seek medical or legal advice, as anything on my blogs is MY OPINION and MY OPINION ONLY!
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