Saturday, April 26, 2008

Just Realizing I was a Victim of Parent Alienation Syndrome

Often, something that someone was searching for when they found my blog catches my eye.

This morning I came across this-

Search Words
"30 and just realizing i was a victim of parental alienation syndrome"

I want to add my two cents in here...

I am now 40++++ ok shushhh I'm up there and sadly I figured out in the last two years that I too was not only a victim of PAS as a child, I watched my grandmother suffer from being a victim of being alienated from her other set of grandchildren for my entire life.

I had no clue what was going on nor would I have ever figured it out if my own children had not been alienated from me.

However, I wish it were that simple, we would all know immediately everything there is to know and we would clearly see we were alienated.

That's NOT the way it goes.. it took me YEARS of research to know I was an alienated adult child of a vindictive narcissist mother.. yet it would be years later until I figured out that my grandmother was also a victim of alienation and that my father was to passive to understand it or counter it.

Even more interesting is ... the cycle of abuse.. is without a doubt MULTI GENERATIONAL!

In order to even grasp the concept of the totality of what dysfunctional family dynamics are about I had to DEEPLY research personality disorders. When I say deeply I mean TRULY READ EVERY WORD OUT THERE on issues such as -

The personality traits of the cluster B group disorders-

(This was my starting point, once I figured out this was personality related)

Personality disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
The DSM-IV lists ten personality disorders, grouped into three clusters. The DSM also contains a ...

Cluster B (dramatic, emotional, or erratic disorders) ...

Antisocial personality disorder

Borderline personality disorder

Histrionic personality disorder

Narcissistic personality disorder

Then, if only that would have been enough.. NOT!

I had to understand what kind of adult children those with the above personality disorders end up raising .. That led me to these ..

Cluster C (anxious or fearful disorders)

Avoidant personality disorder

Dependent personality disorder (not the same as Dysthymia)

Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (not the same as Obsessive-compulsive disorder)

Now let me say I've always had an interest in psychology. As an abused child, I wanted to grow up and save the other children that were being abused by their parents.

I wanted to be a child psychologist. Sadly my needy narcissist mother had other plans and I was working by 12 so that we had food to eat. She had hooked up with another abuser (Imagine that?) and he had broken her leg, so she couldn't work. Well, after that she became a drug addict ehhh it is what it is.

Nonetheless, I wanted to "help" all those other children out there so they didn't suffer like I did. But I never got past 8th grade, then my own issues from being an abused child surfaced and I got myself into stuff other than school and well, today I have a 28 year old that kept me busy, and I never did get that education I needed in order to be a child psychologist...

Well, not in the formal setting anyway.

On that note, I would like to say to any other child advocates out there, or any teen or young adult that happens across this page...

Please don't let what I've learned through self education, go to waste.

Take my advice and study personality disorders- study them until you have read the same thing and can recite it in your sleep! Then move on to anther authors version of the same issue. Do this until you begin to notice personalities and can figure out their past, present and future before they ever give you the gory details.

I promise you, if you have found this blog, you are dealing with one or more dysfunctional, abusive, manipulating personalities and until you get a handle on your role in the "dance" they will suck the life out of you!

Save this page and when and if you take my advice ... come back and let me know how that turned out for you and how your life has changed!

In the mean time, I had written most of this blog this morning and when I came back to the computer I began reading some emails before getting back to this and I laughed as I read the article below..

FINALLY, people are agreeing that personality disorders are at the core of an alternators malfunction! Sadly tho, I'm not sure the courts care what happens to children being raised by those with malignant narcissism, or psychopaths because if they did EVERY alienate would be forced into therapy and every child showing signs of PAS would be deprogrammed and then put into the proper therapy needed to help these children become healthy functioning adults in our society.

Funny enough, although the domestic violence groups that adamantly insist that PA/PAS is fake science are actually setting up future generations of abusers and victims....

You might also benefit from reading about enmeshed families, emotional incest and so on ...

Below is an article on PAS and Stockholm syndrome, in that article I also found this ..

"For additional information on abusive partners, I’d recommend reading my introduction to personality disorders on this website. You may also consider my article on Love and Stockholm Syndrom, also on this website."

Difference Between Parent Alienation and Stockholm Syndrome

Happy Reading ...

No comments: