Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Is this what God wants me to know today?

That cast hadda go!! &#*&! the mouth surgery... the emotional pain is building and I needa blog!

Most of you know I'm writing a book which is titled Connecting the dots.

The book was inspired by so much never ending pain from child abuse to losing my children.. my old defense mechanisms weren't diluting that pain effectively anymore..

I had to find newer outlets.. then newer outlets, and then even newer outlets.. until I found myself where I am today.. well into writing a book...

Some of the dots I'm connecting are personality disorders to abuse..

Ok so with that in mind.. here's something I came across today..

Umm no that's a lie, I came across this man years ago.. he's the author of In Sheep’s Clothing. Which I feel is a must read for anyone on the other end of abuse...

Saturday I found this link - Stop being manipulated - Dr. George Simon Blog- where he talks about Character disorders v personality disorders.. v neurosis. So of course I want my book to be 100% accurate which means I get to find out all I can about the differences..

This morning I come across this link - IS YOUR PARTNER A PLAYER? ? 10 SIGNS THAT YOUR PARTNER IS CHARACTER DISORDERED and thought I should share it with you guys.. so here it is .. enjoy!

Before I let you go enjoy those links.. I thought I should share something that happened today on the way to the office [tongue in cheek] my office is the same room I sleep in lol..

But anyway.. here goes... I'm also on face book and this morning around 3 AM (no I couldn't sleep) I decided to see who if anyone else was awake and what they were up to .. so off I go on to face book...

I find this link from a dear old friend recommending me to see what God wants me to know today.. Ok I'll bite its frikkin 3 am and there isn't much else to do except finish my book .. and with the newest emotional pain that's been my saving grace but heck.. it's gotten a little monotonous lately.. so what the heck..

Lets see what God wants me to know at 3 am ...

Ironically God's people down here on planet earth said ...

Louise got a message that on this day, God wants her to know.. That today is a big day for you.

'Yes, today, keep your eyes open for a message. It might come in the shape of a bird flying overhead, or graffiti on a wall, or a phrase said by a passerby, or .. Whatever shape it has, this message has been trying to reach you for years, and today is finally the day, keep your eyes open. '

So I think.. Umm ok.. I’ll do that..

Meanwhile I’m really thinking. What the heck can I see or hear today that can make a dayum difference in the %#$*@) pain in my heart..

And then.. Voila! I find the link above.. Which explains so so much about so many people..

But I also find these two statements from other friends on face book.

Blank Blank says “Isn’t it ironic how we ignore the ones who adore us, adore the ones that ignore us. Love the ones who hurt us, and hurt the ones who love us.”

(I know who I’m thinking of when I read that.. But ironically I'd bet my last dollar that the person I’m thinking of is reading that with a whole nother meaning!)

Then another Blank Blank says “ "Instead of thinking about what you're missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing"

THREE? I was only supposed to get ONE not TWO or THREE!! Dayumit.. I want ONE! Three means I get to incorporate all of em into one.. And it’s only 8:18 AM !! What happens when the day goes on.. Do I ignore any other “signs” or do they get added in.. what the hell is going on.. I hate when things are complicated!

I guess I get to cling to the fact that personality, character and neurosis disorders, can be over come with lots of dedication and hard work... while working closely with a trained professional..

Then I get to employ the other “messages” I come across into that!

Or I an say.. If God wanted me to know something he wouldn’t make it so dayum hard to decipher.. he knows I’m tired of the guessing game!If that confused you.. then you don't know me or those in my life as well as you should...Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies about what that really means!

Ya either know.. or ya don't.

Apparently God wants this post on this blog and not my My Space blog..

No matter how many times today I’ve tried to post this on my My Space Blog

That’s how many times it’s been messed up when previewed it..

So it stays. I’m tired of re-posting it on My Space.. then I lose it trying to fix it!

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1 comment:

Karlene Gordon said...