I haven't read many articles by females who have used the words domestic abuse (from the perspective of being a survivor herself) and parent alienation in the same sentence.. I wish I knew who the author of the article below was.
Well, who ever she is .. KUDOS! Way to go survivors of D.V!!
Don't believe the harmful lie those women's groups are selling you ..
PARENT ALIENATION - and PARENT ALIENATION SYNDROME is/are an extension of DOMESTIC VIOLENCE .. no matter which gender is the abuser!
Family & You: Family Violence Healing: 3 Keys to Healing Parental Alienation
When children go away to college and get away from "who and what" the controlling family members want them to be, a window opens up. What they discover is their essence. Now here's the gem...
That essence is a composite of their formative years. If you were in their lives during this time, good chance you can slip back in and they can be in yours.
3 Keys to Healing Parental Alienation
There are some key things you will want to do and things you'll be best avoiding in order to rekindle your relationship with your children if you are an estranged parent.
1) Focus on what you have, and what you had, with them; not what you don't have or what you missed. To help you maintain this focus, find points of shared sweet sentiment and build out from here.
2) Trust that they don't need to understand all the elements surrounding your absence to feel their love for you and yours for them. It is already there. Always know these so-called "elements" of your story must be digested as they can be assimilated...and not a moment before.
3) Don't expect them to give you back what you lost. They can't. They don't hold what you lost, as they lost it too.
If you are reading this, I assume you are (or know) a battered mother who weathered battling the system to secure justice for yourself and your children.
On this note...know it was never about them anyway. Rather, it's about you and the strength you bring to the table to endure the challenges before you.
Healing Comes from Within
A dear friend reading the above, written as a self-contained article, noted how important and powerful those 3 keys are. And further she pointed out, how helpful those words would have been for me to hear when I first encountered parental alienation.
I thought to myself, had these words been told to me, I would not have heard them...not deeply and certainly not from the place that the healing I needed could embrace them.
Healing Is a Process
No one could have told me those words with the same healing impact that they represent. Those words were the telling of me to me...of my process...of my process of coming to grips with all that I encountered over the last decade.
My hope for you is that these words spark your healing process... your mending from family violence and legal domestic abuse.
The end ..
My two cents .. oh yeah I gave that up top didn't I?
Ok then here's my half dollar worth..
I've been an alienated parent for seven years now.. my estranged husband managed to manipulate my children from my custody with false allegations and political connections..
I've been fighting this miserable system non stop since 2001 to be reunited with my children.
My politically connected husband has been given he green light to destroy me and my relationship with my children by COURT ORDERS that I have NO CONTACT- yet there has NOT BEEN ONE IOTA OF PROOF THAT I AM UNFIT!
However, based on the estranged husband who is a probable sociopath/malignant narcissist husband and his political connections to supreme court judge panepinto.. and her power house politically connected husband who is also my estranged husbands boss - the director of catholic charities - catholic youth org (CYO) my children were given to the DOCUMENTED (IN HIS OWN WORDS- evidenced in the transcript on the right bottom of this blog at Exhibit 10) abuser and his live in lover aggie panepinto...
Nope you didn't read that wrong.. note the panepinto name running throughout this story?
(search this blog for the words Judge Barbara Panepinto, CYO, or Joseph Panepinto, to get the details)
Getting through each day knowing that my abusive estranged husband and his skanky low life (only sucm of the earth skanks get in between a fit loving parent and her children) politically connected girlfriend are now the role models for my children.. kills me more and more with each passing hour.
Knowing these two are poisoning my children's minds with lie after lie outrages me!
I've managed to get my outrage out in a positive way via this blog and my advocacy.. but don't kid yourself..
I pray daily that the group of slime bag politically connected scum that kidnapped my children... get what they got coming .. via a natural freak accident and LIVE to NOT be able to talk about it .. because they are so maimed they can't speak.
Through the obvious JUSTIFIED anger.. I also pray daily that my children see and know the truth.. that I have ALWAYS LOVED .. ADORED.. CHERISHED.. AND WANTED THEM!
Stories like the one above give target parents hope to make it through another day.
Thank you .. whom ever wrote the article above.. from the bottom of my heart.