Ok today's blog is off topic ..yeah yeah I know I have 99 topics I cover but today it's off ALL of those topics... (after the blah blah understanding the build up to the punch line(s)
Last weekend my niece had her sweet sixteen, I had been tense about this event since I do not speak to 98% of my family and I was going to be sitting at the same table as them (Yeah lucky me!)
As it turned out I sat between my younger brother who is a really good kid that went bad and found his way back, and I would love to have kept in touch with had it not been for the fact that he lives with my mother who I have no contact with and my hunnie Allan.
Anywho.. said youngest brother has been the legal guardian for the last two years of a 9 year old boy "Anthony" who I have never met, until the party.
I wasn't sure how I would feel sitting next to him, since..
(1) I miss my children desperately and any children remind me of them, and I normally can't handle it.
(2) I didn't know this kid, his likes, his dislikes, or even the real story of why or how my brother managed to have guardianship. (I don't believe a word any of them (My family- mother, sister, and sometimes my younger brother) say- so it's hard to just blindly believe)
Moving right along, when Anthony walked into the room, I treated him like I treated any of my nieces or nephew's, I gave him a huge hug told him who I was and treated him like I knew him since birth. He is the sweetest kid, just so loveable!
During the party I wanted to go out for a cigarette, and Anthony and I had been bonding, so I asked my brother if it would be ok to take him outside with me, my brother said of course and off Anthony and I went.
We talked about his bike that had just gotten stolen from in front of his house, I wish I had the money to buy him a new one right there and then, we talked about his grades in school (All 4's- except for penmanship where he got a 3- Yayyy go Anthony!!) we talked about why he never met me, I told him I lived very far away, which I do.
Blah blah blah we learned a lot about each other by mid party, I felt a strong bond between Anthony and I (He was taken from his mother and has no contact- I've been taken from my children- also no contact. I think I felt close to him because we shared something no one else at that party understood. A pain deep within our soul that eats us alive while we play the clown on the outside so the world can't see our pain.
And a clown he is- making bunny ears behind my head all night, just doing silly stuff to make me laugh!
I bet my last dollar he didn't know what I would walk away remembering the most..this is what I want to share..
At one point in the evening, my brother his son (Anthony) Allan and I were sitting outside and Anthony was trying to guess Allan's and my age.
So he looks at me with this serious look and says, "Well, you look like you have cob webs in your hair so.."
THAT LITTLE BRAT! (Said with a huge smile- turn him around so I can kick him in his *&^$ )
Well, needless to say I cut him short of finishing the sentence and I gave him this look like (Ummm you better say something to get your foot out of your mouth and fast!) and I said "WHAT?!?!? You didn't just say that!"
So he laughs, and wiggles out of it by saying, no no your beautiful but but...
By then everyone was laughing so hard..it didn't matter what he said!
Well later in the night, he was once again making bunny ears behind my head then pretending he was all innocent n stuff when I caught him (scratching his chin and looking up into the sky- saying WUT??) and I bent over (he was now sitting beside me) and I grabbed my hair and tickled his face with it while I said "Oh yeah well, I have cob webs in my hair that means there's also spiders in there and I'm gonna make them crawl all over you!" That got him to stop briefly!
Anyway, he helped me stay sane thru the night although he will never know that..nor will he know that I will remember that cob web statement the rest of my life, and refer back to it often.
I'll file it with "That's not how you grrr stewpid" and "You'll be dead by then" keep reading if you want to know where those came from.
Although he will never know it, Anthony left a DEEP foot print in my heart!
The system is so crazy that now I'm afraid to keep in touch with him, which I want to do so badly! I can't afford another loss in my life, and his adoption hearing is next month.
We all know how much I trust the system especially ACS aka CPS I would fall apart all over again, if I allowed myself to get close and they found some BS reason to take him away from my brother and put him into the system! Say a prayer for Anthony, that he is able to keep his sprit as upbeat as it was the night we met!
Ok on to the other phrases I'll never forget.. I'll tell you the story about "You'll be dead by then" first, since it was the first time a little kid insulted me and gave me something to quote years later!
Obviously I have a soft spot in my heart for kids, always have.. So when one of my neighbors kids who was around 7 or 8 was over playing with my son, TWENTY FIVE YEARS AGO! (Which made me YOUNG back then) I had bent down and proposed to him, I said - "Your so cute, wanna marry me when your 35?"
Well! (Hands on my hips!) That little brat replied with "NO, You'll be dead by then" Ok he got me, I was only 25 ish and I suddenly felt like I was 99- Uggggghh turn that kid around and let me kick him in his ^%$ !!
On to the little girl that no matter what I did made her happy..
I was working in a hotel in Mid town Manhattan in a restaurant, I had the early shift this day.. it couldn't have been later than 7AM.
In walks this family (Mom was dressed to the nines- over done and trying way to hard! Dad was dad, he rolled out of bed and appeared to be trying to make his nasty wife happy with breakfast. Their daughter took after mom, she was princess in training, and it was obvious to me that this little girl WAS NOT a morning person, little did she know NEITHER AM I!
As per my job description, I tried to make nice with the kid, over and over I attempted to make her smile, to no avail! She was one of the most difficult kids I had seen in a long time, well I finally had enuff of playing nice, and I looked at her and said "GRRRRRRR, See I can be cranky too"
Well! (Hands on MY hips, now as I tell this story!)
This brat, stood up looked me in the eye, both hands on her hips, her head and hips moved side to side with every word and she said and I quote "That's not how you Grrrrrr STEWPID!"
I was so shocked, I had to walk away and just laugh!
Mom was to busy admiring herself in the glass reflection to even notice, dad to Oblivious to care.. and here this 4 year old was on her way to becoming ...
Oh not my problem, finish the sentence with whatever you want it to say ...
The things kids say (Shaking my head) those three will never be forgotten!!