Saturday, August 20, 2011

Everything Happens For A Reason

This evening I finally returned a phone call from a long distance friend who has been kind enough to wait till I worked through my accident & figure out my recovery in my head before receiving a call from me. I truly appreciate her being so kind! 

It's been a struggle for the last few months.. I have been on serious medication which has basically kicked my ass.. my head injury has played a major role in my day to day life.. I'm lucky I can remember what I said yesterday most days.

Anywho, thank you Jules!

Now, as for why I am beginning today's blog with a thanks to Jules...

Well, Throughout the years, I've had to accept that everything happens for a reason.

Today, I received a post from Kaleah's Website "the Narcissism Free Website", and it covered exactly what I was telling Jules about an hour earlier...

I've spent the last 10 years desperately trying to figure out how I managed to be taken out of my children's lives. During my search I've had to learn about Parent alienation, Stockholm Syndrome & most importantly..    

Cognitive Dissonance and Conversatinal Hypnosis.

I had to learn how Cognitive Dissonance occurs & how Conversational Hypnosis worked before I would be able to figure out how my children went from cherishing me and our relationship to tossing it and me in the garbage. I'd have to learn how someone that adores another could suddenly hate that same person.

I also needed to figure out what Neuro Linguistic Programing (NLP) was..

I've had to understand what kind of people would be evil enough to create Cognitive Dissonance in another person, or who would intentionally manipulate anothers mind for their own benefit. 

I've had to go to the depths of ugly within myself and revisit my abandoned abused inner child. I've had to learn all about her and how she responds to the world she lives in. 

I think it's fair to say.. I've had to go through hell and back before "I'd get it!"

Knowing what "it" is... was the hardest part of all..

One part of the "it" is being ok enuff with myself and my inner child so that she/I don't respond to every perceived hurt,or to every perceived attack, or perceived abandonment. 

The other part of the "it" is knowing my inner child and calming her down enuff to know when there are people around me who are operating off their own perceived hurts, perceived attacks, or perceived abandonment issues. 

The latter part is a little harder, because when 'others' are acting off their perceived hurts, perceived attacks, or perceived abandonment issues. They are then operating off their inner child's hurts and their own self preservation. And in doing so, they are "in reality" hurting, attacking and abandoning us.

Whewwwwww say that fast three times! Ok, ok, ok all joking aside...

Those of us who have been alienated from our children can get them back into our lives once we are able to focus on our inner abused/abandoned children.

Once we 'go there' and come out the other side.. we can take whatever their inner scared children give us...

However, before taking on such a huge job, I suggest you learn all you can about Cognitive Dissonance... and take an in-print into your conscious of the blog below...  (Her blog helped me enormously to get where I am today)

The Path Back To Self | Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse

Here are one of the better definitions of Cognitive Dissonance that I have found, but do your own homework...

Cognitive Dissonance and learning

Covert hypnosis - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

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