Most of my regular readers know I'm intrigued by Personality Disorders.
Why is that important?
Well, any of us that have been alienated from our children.. whether you label it Parent Alienation, or Maternal Alienation.. there is one common theme that runs through both...
ABUSE!! End of Story, generations of abuse.. that keeps on going and going and going!
So, some of you might be saying "yeah and?" From past experience on these kinds of posts, it wouldn’t surprise me if some of you may want to write me some nasty email saying that your abusive husband alleged Parent Alienation, blah blah blah..
I don't buy your twisted version of Parent Alienation or Maternal Alienation. just cuz your selling it.. so, don't waste your time. As far as I’m concerned a rose is a rose,, is a rose, no matter what color it is, or what you want to call it.
As far as I’m concerned again, everyone needs to stop crying foul.. because our children are being destroyed from the very core of their bodies while grown adults argue what “label” should be put on the abuse our children are going through.
Now before I get into the reason for today’s post.. I'm gonna say that this post may be hard to swallow!
In order to heal our children, first we have to heal ourselves. Alienators, abusers, liars, dominating manipulators.. whatever you want to call them.. can't alienate, abuse, lie, dominate or manipulate someone who isn't a willing participant. Albeit an unconscious participant.. a participant nonetheless.
That statement reminds me of an issue I have with those women's groups- they scream from the roof tops: DON'T BLAME THE VICTIM!
I'm NOT blaming the victim! I’m a survivor of abuse and I'm saying the victim needs to learn to take accountability for their role in getting into an abusive relationship to begin with.
Abuse breeds abuse, period!
Anywho, back to my original thought…
When children are abused emotionally or physically, neglected, over protected or traumatized in some other way.. many children dissociate in order to survive. Studies show that not all children who have been abused dissociate however, all adults that dissociate have been abused.
The rest of us are fully aware of the abuse, but don’t realize how horribly it’s effected our lives.
We don’t put 1 & 1 together to = 2.
(1) Childhood abuse of one kind or another. +
(1) Domestic Violence of one kind or another.. being either the perpetrator or the victim.. =
(2) People pleasers, or adults that are “Do Gooders” or “Peace-Makers” “Rescuers” “Don’t Rock The Boat People” or the flip side of the Drama Triangle you can have someone with all those qualities above, who can switch when their buttons are pushed or take on as a primary role.. the “Rebels” the “Rock The Boat People” “The Outcasts, and even the Abusers! You get the idea right?
Anyway, the laid back ‘Do Gooders’ are the ones that end up in court with the Psychopaths we’ve married or have had children with. Then we spend years witnessing how the Abuser has set themselves on destroy.. and guess who’s the Target?
Yep, you got it, the Peace Makers, the Do Gooders, the laid back easy going type, the Don't Rock the Boat people, etc, etc, etc!
Some of you may be thinking.. “yeah ok- and, that’s not breaking news, so what’s your point”
My point is- that us ‘Do Gooders’ need to accept that we played a role in our demise then immediately do something about it.
Here’s where these Youtube videos below come in..
I’m a firm believer in holistic medicine and when I saw these sets of videos on how to self heal using acupressure points, I spent at least a week reviewing them all..
I have to say, these are amazing.. and I believe if you put the effort in, it will help many alienated parent out there to heal in order to be healthy enuff to fight from an aware state of mind, not from a victim mindset.
Why Does Tapping Work?
Relationships, Memories & Life Patterns
Why We Have Problems AND The Solution
Release the Past & Memories Aren't Real
Self Image & Love Yourself
Meet Cathryn Taylor- Author of "The Inner Child Workbook"
How to work with your Soul's Purpose
Who Is Your Inner Child?
#1a EFT/Inner Child Meditation - Overview
#1b EFT/Inner Child Meditation- 7 Layer Healing Process layer 1
#2 EFT/Inner Child Meditation - 7 Layer Process - Layer 2
#3 EFT/Inner Child Meditation- 7 Layer Healing Process - Layer 3
#4 EFT/Inner Child Meditation- 7 Layer Healing Process - Layer 4
#5 EFT/Inner Child Meditation- 7 Layer Healing Process - Later 5
#6 EFT/Inner Child Meditation- Layer 6 Reprogramming the Body
#7 EFT/Inner Child Meditation- Layer 7 - Passing It On to the World
In the event that you're not sure your partner was or is a Malignant Narcissist, Borderline Personality, Histrionic Personality or even beyond that: A Psychopath.. aka Antisocial Personality Disorder.. then take a look at these videos below!
Cluster B Disorders
Narcissism, NPD & Aggression : Sam Vaknin takes the NPA test
Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
Narcissist in Court and Litigation
Narcissist or Psychopath? What Are the Differences?
Narcissistic Rage and Narcissistic Injury
More for the 'victims' of those with Personality Disorders..
Effects of Abuse on Victims and Survivors
Good People Ignore Abuse and Torture: Why?
Top-10 Ways to Identify Co-Dependency
Top-10 Actions to Break Co-Dependency